Peanut and Poppy

I realize that I have left you fellow weekend-shoppers high and dry by neglecting my Friday Grocery Advice post for quite some time. I have just a few other things on my plate, that, coincidentally, leave my dinner plate quite empty. Between work, Jimmy being back in school, and our evening church activities, we have had very very little time to eat a real dinner, giving me less time to experiement with new foods. Most nights, I rush out of work, scoop up Taylor, get home and throw her chicken (tofu) nuggets on a plate, clean the house, freshen up, feed the dogs, throw something on the stove and into my mouth, and head out of the house 30 minutes later when the sitter arrives. Not like we ever ate elaborate meals like Paula Deen or Bobby Flay to begin with, but we would make different types of grilled meat and veggies several times a week. No longer. These days, it’s PB&J for Jimmy at work, and any sort of 5-minute or less pantry concoction for me. Which brings me to my first Hot item.

HOT
Progresso Light Vegetable & Noodle Soup. A super fast, super easy (even for me), super delicious, super healthy meal. 60 calories and $1.50 for the can. Wallet is happy, and so is the waist. I, however, add one cup of rice so the meal keeps you full for longer than 15 minutes. Cook Wal-Mart brand rice (takes 5 minutes), add the soup directly into the rice once it’s cooked, throw some Italian seasoning on top, let the soup warm a bit (a minute or so), sit and enjoy right out of the pot. It tastes just like homemade noodle soup. I know it’s getting warm outside, but I don’t mind breaking a sweat while eating, as long as I don’t have to break a sweat while preparing. So good.

HOT
Frank’s RedHot Buffalo Wing Sauce. As many of you know, I am a fan of the hot sauce. We have tried all varieties and all brands in our household. And this is my current favorite. It turns anything into a buffalo wing. And who doesn’t like a wing? My other easy dinner, when it’s not soup, is grilled bean burritos. I’ll grill a burrito with refried beans, and lots of cheddar and parmesan cheese. Once it’s golden brown on both sides with cheese oozing out, place it on your plate and smother in Frank’s RedHot Buffalo Wing Sauce. Ooooooh, spicy. Ooooooh, good. Just be careful with the burrito browning. I got caught up with my multitasking routine the other night and lost track of time. Mid-sweeping the floor, my poor burrito turned into a burnt bean surprise. I smothered it in sauce anyway and had myself a scorched, yet spicy, piece of charcoal with a bit of beany aftertaste. The Frank’s made it work.

NOT
Healthy Choice Pumpkin Squash Ravioli. In my quest to find quick meals that are healthy and satisfying, I got a bit adventurous. And I ran across a horribly bad breed of Healthy Choice frozen meals. Now, I am a big fan of the Healthy Choice french bread pizza, and ice cream, and other select product lines. So, I have to admit that I fell victim to the brand’s new marketing message — touting the fresh tastes and recipes that the Healthy Choice “Food Scientists” had developed. Well, I think I found the scientist that smoked a bit of the crazy stuff on his lunch break. It’s marketed as “ravioli stuffed with tender pumpkin paired with crisp asparagus, sweet butternut squash, and juicy Granny Smith apples. It’s all topped with a butter-sage sauce and provides half of your daily value of vitamin A and 6 grams of fiber.” Well, because they’re “Food Scientists”, I assumed that they’d have an innovative, yet sophisticated, palate. Not so much. It was vomit-inducing. Repulsive. Scrape your tongue disgusting. Gag for three days nasty. I have the drooly feeling in my mouth just thinking about it. I bought two packages of it. Threw my lunch away after one bite, and marched my butt back to Wal-Mart to return the other and get my full refund of $2.00 back. Food scientists, I have one bit of advice: stay out of the test kitchen when you partake of the pot.

NOT
Equate Waxed Dental Floss. I am a freak for floss. I feel incomplete if I don’t floss before bedtime. I even have my own set of dental pick/mirrors. Yeah. My tooth cleansing routine is quite intense. So you can imagine that my standards for floss are fairly high. I’m also a fan of a good deal. So, when I ran out of floss last week and went shopping for more, I was drawn to the Equate (Wal-Mart) brand of floss. It was nearly $2.00 cheaper than my previous brand ($0.90 as opposed to almost $3.00 for Crest’s Glide floss). Of course I bought it. And boy am I sorry. Glide is called Glide for a reason. It GLIDES between your teeth, gently hugging your gums, then gracefully returning to the surface with a curtsie, ready for the next tooth. Equate puts it’s sloppy paws on your teeth and holds on for dear life, screaming “Nooooooo! Don’t. Make. Me. Do. It!!!” The floss is like fishing wire. When you wrap it around your fingers, it cuts to the bone. When you floss, it takes a sawing motion to get it to move any distance. When you succeed in getting to to move, it then breaks between your teeth and you have to use the dental pick to remove all of the frayed floss. Thank goodness I was prepared with pick in pocket. Needless to say, I have returned to my gorgeous, graceful, gental, gum gymnast, Glide. Equate, on the otherhand, does NOT equate to a happy, healthy experience.

Maybe it’s because I’m getting better at spotting the good buys and bad buys. Or maybe it’s a streak of good shopping luck. Either way, I don’t have any NOTs for you this week! Just HOTs. And this time, hold onto your grocery carts, I’m not limiting the advice to food products — I’ve added a fabulous new toiletry to the mix! Prepare your shopping lists, here we go…

HOT
Birdseye Steamfresh Southwestern Corn. Not only are we in coupon-clipping mode, but we’re also in calorie conservation mode in preparation for the upcoming holiday season. So, chicken is a daily staple for us. And because that can get quite boring, it forces you to be creative with the side dishes. The Birdseye Steamfresh veggies are awesome. Not only do they taste fabulous and fresh, but they’re super quick, cheap ($1) and easy. Just take straight from your freezer and zap the bag in the microwave for about 5 minutes. We all know that I don’t like to cook, nor do I have time to cook. So, I’m a big fan of Birdseye. I like the Broccoli Florets, the Super Sweet Corn and the Cut Green Beans. My new favorite, however, is the Southwestern Corn. Pair with grilled chicken and a savory low-fat Cream of Chicken gravy or a sassy sweet Honey Barbeque sauce, and you’ll be enjoying a healthy, scrumptious, simple meal in no time at all.

HOT
Annie’s Homegrown Organic Bernie O’s. My child loves noodles. And she hates veggies. So spaghetti sounds like the perfect solution to sneak in her daily veggie while also giving her something she loves. Boiling noodles takes far too long though, requiring way too much patience from Taylor. I needed a fast track to spaghetti city. So, I found myself at the Spaghetti-O aisle (I LIVED on those things when I was in college). And, low and behold, what did I see but a glorious green can of Annie’s Homegrown Organic Bernie O’s — organic Spaghetti-Os! Now I could feed my child something that she loves, sneakily provide her daily veggie requirements, and feel good about the natural ingredients. Not to mention the adorable bunny-shaped noodles. A classic kid treat, no scary preservatives, healthy ingredients, super fast preparation, and cute bunny shapes. I don’t care if you feed these to your toddler or eat them yourself with a sleeve of Ritz crackers, Bernie O’s are brilliant!

HOT
Crest Pro-Health Whitening Rinse. I have become a huge fan of Crest Pro-Health products since a visit to my dentist almost a year ago. I’ve been told, and I feel, that they’re the best for strong, healthy teeth. (The $1 off coupons online help a bit too.) Now, if you’ve known me for more than 5 years, you know that I was obsessed with Crest Whitestrips. I used and, in fact, abused the product. I probably went through 10 packs, mostly back to back even though you’re instructed to take several weeks off in between treatments. Well, during my visit to the dentist, they asked me what was up with my teeth. Why were they nearly transparent? Well, it’s because I’d overdosed on teeth bleach and my poor poor enamel had been eaten alive. They promptly instructed me to never use Whitestrips again if I wanted to save what was left of little guys. Jimmy always laughs because he says he can see my tongue through my teeth. That’s a bit of an exaggeration, but you get the point. Anyway, so I had turned to Crest Pro-Health to help pump some life back into my enamel. I’d get the withdrawal-induced shakes when walking by the teeth whitening aisle, but I pass the strips by anyway. So, you can imagine my excitement when Pro-Health released its Whitening Mouthwash! WHOOHOO! I have been using it for about two weeks now and I love it. It’s good for your teeth AND it helps with those annoying surface stains, prevents new stains and kills germs too. The Whitestrips, on the other hand, just remove stains by removing enamel, making your teeth super sensitive and giving people a peep show of your tongue when you smile. But this stuff protects your teeth while whitening too. Love it!

So, get corny this weekend with Bridseye, flash back to childhood with a can of Bernie O’s, and swish away those soda stains with Pro-Health Rinse! I look forward to seeing your satisfied, shiny smiles.

It’s Friday, and you know what that means. Time for Grocery Advice. This week, the column is focused on money-saving attempts (read: failures) and successes. The Brady family has recently taken on the task of saving money (thank you very much, Mr. Economy). Cutting coupons, buying off-brands, and the like. Anything to save a buck appeals to me.

So, on average, I had been spending about $175/week on groceries. After implementing my new savings strategy, I spend only about $120/week on groceries. What’s my secret? After some priceless advice from a good friend and frugal guru, Diana, I decided that I didn’t need to be so picky about what brands I buy. I don’t HAVE to eat the $4/box Kashi cereal when I can just as well eat the $2/bag Honey Nut Scooters. I don’t have to have the $8/pack super-fancy Aloe Cottonelle toilet paper when I can just as well buy the $5/pack White Cloud toilet paper. I mean, it’s toilet paper. Do we really need to you-know-what with gold plated tissue? I think not. So, that’s been my outlook on Saturday morning — when I enter the grocery, I morph into Money-Saving Mommy. Now, it’s not always simple. With successes, you will have struggles. And I thought I’d share a few of those moments with you.

HOT (Success)
Pillsbury Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough. The pre-made, moist cookie dough that is wrapped in a beautiful royal blue plastic sleeve, pinched on the ends like a roll of sausage. It can be found in the section with breakfast rolls, near sour cream and Jell-O snacks, glistening on the shelf below soothing yellow lights. Oooooooooh, sweet chocolaty goodness. Now, this was not on sale. BUT, I bought the family size, which was a dollar cheaper than buying two regular size tubes. (No, that’s not cheating). The tube of pre-made cookie dough provides a fast track to cookie city, and allows you to choose-your-own-adventure as far as how full you would like to be post-cookie consumption. Plop out a mini-cookie for a quick snack or a volleyball-size chunk of goodness for a full meal. Pair with a cold glass of milk, a cozy blanket and your favorite sit-com, and you have yourself a warm piece of Heaven.

NOT (Failure)
Great Value On The Go Juice Mix. I drink a lot of water. And, in order to switch it up a bit, I’ve been purchasing the Crystal Light On The Go packets in a variety of flavors. Well, while engulfed in my money-saving mentality, I noticed that the Great Value (Wal-Mart) brand of mix was a whopping $1 cheaper. Naturally, I bought it. And I felt darn good about my purchase. Until I tried it. It tasted like a Watermelon Jolly Rancher — not exactly the refreshing taste of fresh-squeezed limeade that I was seeking. And I swear to you, after two sips, I started hallucinating. Yeah. Really. I marched my butt right into Wal-Mart’s Customer Service department and demanded my $1.76 back. And I got it.

NOT (Failure)
Great Value Lasagna. Another attempt at money-saving gone wrong. After drooling over the box of Stouffer’s Lasagna that I saw in the coupons (which I forgot to clip), I noticed a box of almost-equally delicious looking Great Value Lasagna. It was $3 less than Stouffers. And I now know why. We tried it last night. I should have known that it would be a disaster when the directions on the plain green box were “microwave for 13 minutes and serve.” That’s it. And the box looked like it was designed by a 3rd grader using Microsoft Word. Well, it tasted like a 3rd grader threw a Stouffer’s Lasagna in a blender with a cup of sugar and a few fake meatballs. Ugh. I will be spending an extra $3 next time I want lasagna. (If it’s not obvious, the photo to the left is what it DIDN’T look like).

Good luck on your money-saving grocery journey, friends. Avoid the GV brand at all costs. Try the cookies. Clip those coupons. Buy the brands on sale. And show that cashier who’s boss.

This is my second edition of Grocery Advice: Hot and Not, a preparatory guide to your weekly grocery trip. This week, I feel obligated to share with you two more items, one that falls under the sure-to-make-you-vomit-or-malform category and one that can be classified as freezer-section-Heaven. And, yes, East Coast people, this HOT item is worth weathering the hurricane. Who cares about Hanna — you need this deliciousness!

HOT
MorningStar Farms Chik Patties. If you like Chik-Fil-A chicken sandwiches (who doesn’t) but feel guilty and greasy after consumption, you MUST try these chicken patties. Our very-picky Taylor gobbles up the chicken nuggets made by MorningStar, which is a sure sign in itself that this company makes delicious food. And, I don’t feel guilty feeding them to her since they are made of soy protein and chalked full of protein (so healthy). Don’t shutter at the sight of soy though — I was the same way. Just close your eyes and sink your teeth into a tasty patty. You won’t regret it. There are several options for preparations — Jimmy has topped his with hot sauce and blue cheese for a buffalo sandwich taste, or with a fresh slice of tomato and low-fat mayo for a classic chicken sandwich. My personal favorite is the chik patty topped with a few pickles and placed on a low-fat english muffin, a total taste replica of a Chik-Fil-A sandwich, minus 500 calories and 20 grams of fat. Who doesn’t need a bit of guilt-free Heaven?

NOT
Kid Cuisine. I have that watery-almost-puking-feeling in my mouth just thinking about this product. The other day, we were so low on groceries that Jimmy was forced to freezer dive. He found a frostbitten Kid Cuisine that I had bought for Taylor to eat about six months ago. I bought it because it was chicken nuggets (her off-and-on obsession). But, when I got home and read the box more closely, I swore that I would never feed them to my child for fear that she’d grow an eleventh finger, third ear and second tongue after consumption of all the preservatives packed in this meal. Don’t get me wrong, I am not a food snob by any means, but I try to feed Taylor organic or otherwise healthy foods when possible. That doesn’t mean that she doesn’t get her fair share of french fries or cookies, but I couldn’t bring myself to feeding her warm sprinkled pudding, scary creamy corn, and animal-shaped chicken butts…or feet…or whatevers. My husband, on the other hand, already has “problems” so I am fine for him to eat away. Let me just tell you. Take the smell of a dumpster, and heat it in the microwave. That’s what the house smelled like when Jimmy ate that Kid Cuisine. And, from what I understand, it tasted like it smelled. So, please. Spare yourself the second belly button and avoid Kid Cuisine at all costs.

If you are anything like me, you do your weekly grocery shopping over the weekend. I prefer early Saturday morning, when the shelves are stocked and the freaks are still in bed. In preparation for your trip to the store, I feel that I owe it to you to share my current Hot and Not food items for your consideration.

HOT
Reduced Fat Nilla Wafers. A long-time favorite of mine. So so tasty when covered in Fluff (AKA Marshmallow Cream) and washed down with a cold, frosty glass of chocolate milk. Or also quite delicious when sandwiched around creamy peanut butter and dipped in chocolate. Buy them now, though, if you want to enjoy them next month. Because they are at their prime when they are stale. I buy two boxes at a time and open the beautiful silver foil bag inside as soon as we get home, let them stale for approximately one month, then enjoy. If you buy two, you always have a back-up so you don’t have to wait through that stressful month of staling, which can feel like an eternity. (Tip: try spritzing the Nillas with water to speed the staling process).

NOT
New Smart Start Strong Heart Strawberry Oat Bites cereal. I was fooled into buying this offensive cereal two weekends ago. I had seen a television commercial about it a few days leading up to my weekly trip. At the grocery, as I rounded the corner approaching the place where my current favorite cereal, Kashi Cinnamon Harvest, resides, there it was. I thought it was a sign. One box of this new cereal sat, almost glowing, right in front of the neatly organized row of Cinnamon Harvest. It was calling to me. So, I bought it to try. As I sat down at my favorite stool on Monday morning, the Wiggles blasting in the background, I tried my first bite of this exciting new adventure. (If you know me well, you know that I am a freak for routine. I eat the same cereal every morning. And I mean EVERY morning. So, this was me going out on a limb in a big way.) So, the experience? Horrible. Take a strawberry Pop-Tart (the kind without the frosting and sprinkles), cover it in Play Doh, and drench it in milk. Nastiness. My poor tastebuds will never be the same.

Good luck to you this weekend at the grocery. May you only buy items that make your belly proud. Keep your guard up for new products that, although they seem fun to try, could potentially taste like children’s toys.